I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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