sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Vodka?
Forever.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
