i don't plan on having that self control this summer
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I want her autograph on my taint
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
