i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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