just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
