You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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