every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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