when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
