We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Vodka?
Forever.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
