Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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