Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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