And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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