he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize