i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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