doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
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the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
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i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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