(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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