One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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