$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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