Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
