Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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