just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Mom said you looked used
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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