i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
