I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
