I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
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We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
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yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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