I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
