You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
