fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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