Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
