I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
