is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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