So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
