Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
