dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
