The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
