If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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