I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We're too hungover to prance.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
