I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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