How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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