Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
