He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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