do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
