he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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