But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
