Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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