I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You were trust falling into bushes
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
