my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
