just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
