Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
