check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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