I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
