I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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