i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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