She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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