it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You ate ashes out of my bong
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
