i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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