he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
