By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize