All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We were destined to go to rehab together
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
