He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
