Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
