at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
