Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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