her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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