How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
