I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
