please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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