that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
