i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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