I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
