We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
