I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Small penises have feelings too.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
